Some old jokes

1)Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of
pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.
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why ?? why ??
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Because, Tendulkar is an opener.

2)Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
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Socho socho
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aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
3)What will! u call a person who is leaving India ??
Socho...............Socho
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Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
4)Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam
Kya tha................................... .
Socho yar ....its very easy
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Answer: adidas
5)Luv and Kush were going to a village & in between
comes a well. Luv falls into the well. Why ?
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Because Luv is blind!!!!!
6)Now Kush also jumps inside. Why?
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OK lot's of head scratching done.
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Answer is... Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!
Want one more...
7) Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?..
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nahi pata..??
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Answer: D'Cold
"chain ki saans - D'cold"


8)Ek aur.....
Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol
chali gayi, par Sharukh bus pe nahin chada - kyon??
arey yeh to batao ...
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think harder...
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Kyonke woh Kajol ko chhodne aaya tha. Ha, ha,
ha..kitna asan tha ....kya yaar...tum bi na

9)Ek aur moaka de hi dete hain tumhe .....
kamal,vimal do bhai they,dono bus stop pe khade the..
bus aai vimal chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata
hai why???
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Kyonkieeee

ee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!

यु नो व्हॉट, आज-काल आमच्याकडच्या मॅरेजमध्ये

अमेरिकन : यु नो व्हॉट, आज-काल आमच्याकडच्या मॅरेजमध्ये इमेलला खूप महत्त्व आहे.

पांडोबा : आं...आमच्यात बुवा अजून तरी फिमेलच महत्त्वाची असती बगा

मराठी लोकांची हिंदी:

मराठी लोकांची हिंदी:

पहलि बार पोहने गया तो क्या हुआ मालुम?
पहिले पानी मे शिरा, फिर पोहा और बाद मे बुडा!!

घाई करो भैया नही तो बस जायेगी, और हमारी पंचाईत होयेगी!!

सरबत मे लिंबु पिळा क्या!!

इतना महाग कैसे रे तेरे यहा, वो कोपरेका भैया तो स्वस्त देता है!!

कंदा काट के, चिर के मस्त ओम्लेट बनाने का और उपर से थोडा कोथिंबिर भुरभुरानेका!!

अरे बाबा गाडी सावली मे लगा!!

ए भाय, मेदुवडा शेपरेट ला, साम्बार मे बूडा के मत लाना!!

केस एकदम बारीक कापो भैया!!

खाओ पोटभर खाओ लाजो मत!!

धावते धावते गिर्‍या तो काडकन हात का हाड मोड्या

ME and MY BOSS

ME and MY BOSS 


When I Take a long time to finish, 
I am slow, 
When my boss takes a long time, 
he is thorough 




When I don't do it, 
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it, 
he is busy, 



When I do something without being told, 
I am trying to be smart, 
When my boss does the same, 
he takes the initiative, 



When I please my boss, 
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
He is cooperating, 



When I make a mistake,
I' am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake, 
He's only human.



When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office, 
He's on business.



When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick, 
He must be very ill..



When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview .
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked 



When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets 


what to do????????????? 

Jokes About Men

Jokes About Men
Diary of A House Husband
1). Make the beds......
What a waste of effort, we're only going to sleep in them again tonight. Forget that.
Scratch one.
2). Pick up dog poop in yard.......
It snowed last night, I don't see any dog poop, kids do you see any dog poop?
Scratch two.
3). Drop your shirts off at the cleaners.......
Duhh I'm on vacation I don't need them.
Scratch three.
This is easy, what's the fuss.
Think I'll go on the computer for a while.
4). Clean out Tupperware cabinet.......
Uhhhh that's a hard one. GOT IT, velcro on the door will keep them closed.
Scratch four.
5). Mop kitchen floor.....
The dog licked up that sugar spill from breakfast, floor looks clean to me.
Scratch five.
Good doggie go play in the yard. She just loves rolling in the snow.
6). Find something fun for the kids to do.....
That tin foil in the microwave thing was kinda fun.
Scratch six.
This is way too easy I'll have lots of time for the computer
7). Vacuum the carpets......
That's a hard one.......
Hey kids wanna have some more FUN.
Scratch seven.
8). Feed kids lunch.....
Hey kids, don't you have a friends house to go too?
YESSSS Scratch eight !!
9). Clean out hallway closet......
Hmmmm another hard one. That's it, take enough out of the closet to close the door. Outta sight outta mind. Hmmmm this other stuff can go under a bed.
Scratch nine.
Boy O Boy am I good, lunch time. Pour some chili into the cracker bag & eat. Taaa daaa no lunch dishs
10). Do laundry.....
no problem I can do that while I'm on the computer
Scratch ten.
11). Fold laundry.....
dang Ya know I never noticed how many pink things this family actually wears. Gonna have to ask da little lady why she buys me pale pink underwear?? Check this out a cashmere barbie sweater, cool.
Scratch eleven.
12) Put the laundry away....
Baskets in bedrooms work for me.
Scratch twelve.
This is way too easy. Wonder why women always complain about house work???
13). Water the Christmas tree...
Oop's!... good thing the carpet is absorbent.
Scratch thirteen.
14). Grocery shopping, Buy toilet paper.......
These old newspapers will do, besides, that's recycling & that's good for the earth....
Scratch fourteen.
15). Pick up the kids ......
Yeah right; we're talking about my kids here. Parents will normally pay to drop them back off.
They'll be back. Scratch fifteen.
Wonder who's on the computer. I have plenty of time.
16). Make dinner.....
Easy, "Hello do you deliver ? uhhh double that, Ya know we will need more dinner tomorrow".
Scratch sixteen.
17). Clean out the dog house......
duhh the dog sleeps in our bed, Like that needs to be done.
Scratch seventeen.
WOW all done. Man this is sooooo easy. Still time for some more puter and a nap..... Women must complain about house work just to make us guys think they're working.
Wish I was a chick !